It’s true, men get therapy too. I am seeing a consistent increase of fellow men deciding they’ve had enough of coping, having to be ‘strong’. They have bravely stepped across the void of uncertainty. They have checked out what a supportive therapeutic space can do for them in all aspects of their life, even if they’re in-country doing overseas charity development work; they have realised the profound personal benefits.

Men struggle with many issues, just as much as women do – in some cases, even more so, as we don’t talk to our mates like women do. But it’s a fact that Men have more barriers to addressing their feelings and struggles than women do.

But don’t let these barriers hold you back. Of all the men I have and or am currently working with, some have been surprised, however, all have been hugely encouraged. They have witnessed the significant benefits to all aspects of how they ‘do life’: work, live, love, and play.

Whether in the  Counselling space, Therapeutic Coaching (In-person or Online), or out in nature on Walking-Talks with me, we work together to help you understand ‘You’, and be your best version.

Men Face More Stigma Than Women for Mental Health Issues

In our culture, men are often given the message to “just suck it up.” Either explicitly or implicitly, men are told that their emotions either don’t matter or shouldn’t be there in the first place. They are told to keep feelings inside and whatever they do, don’t let anyone know that they’re hurt, angry, insecure, or depressed. This stigma can be a barrier for us men to reach out for help and support when we are struggling.

When men contact The Trellis Practice for a free 30-minute consultation, they are overcoming stigma and the judgment of others to simply begin to feel better. It’s a brave and significant first step toward a healthier life.

Men’s Friendships Tend to be Less Open than Women’s Friendships

I’ve heard from many male clients that it’s harder for them to lean on their friends when they are feeling down, feeling anxious, or feeling stuck. They say that they feel close to their friends, but with no sense of safety to be vulnerable. They worry their friends will think they are “weird”, or their friends are not able to or don’t want to support them. In our culture, women are socialised to bond around emotional connection and support. Women often tell their friends intimate details of their inner lives; their struggles as well as their triumphs.

Unfortunately, men are getting the short end of the stick when it comes to friendships. Men are socialised to bond around shared interests and activities, not necessarily around conversation and open sharing. So when men really want a friend to know they are struggling, or want to know if their friends have gone through something difficult, it’s often harder and more awkward to bring it up and talk about it.

Luckily, this is changing. Men are feeling more open, and feel they now have more ‘permission’, to be vulnerable with one another. Prince William, amongst other public figures, has considerably helped leverage open the barn doors of male silence and mental health, depression, and anxiety. An increasing understanding and acceptance of what it is like to be a man and how we can work better together.

But What About…

Yup, there may be things lurking in the dark barn corners of many men’s lives, the consequences of which may not be fully understood, like:

Porn – It rewires how your brain functions, causing unhealthy life habits, fractured relationships, anxiety, and depression.

Drink and Drugs – “Just one more” or the must-have after a stressful day at work is the slippery road to dependency and health issues

Boarding School – Growing up in a boarding school can lead to serious psychological distress. Mark Stibbe’s book speaks to this.

Masks – Men can struggle to stay true to themselves while negotiating the narrow definition of masculinity, so we can resort to wearing masks

Mid-Life Crisis – Regrets, unfulfilled dreams, discontent, loss, not being at peace with the passage of years, and more, are all triggers of this ‘crisis‘.

The Patriarch – Such culture does not care if men are unhappy; a form of emotional stoicism that says you’re more ‘manly’ if you do not feel; just suck it up! Patriarchy demands of men that they become and remain emotional cripples. To be the best model of ‘You’, we all need the will to change.

As men, we can struggle significantly in trying to work out why we are the way we are, feel the way we do, and do the things we do.

How to Feel Better as a Man

First, it’s helpful to remember that the myth about men being unemotional, is just plain wrong. Secondly, you are not alone. Men struggle just as much as women do. It’s up to us men to redefine masculinity and treat yourself/ourselves as if we matter. If you need help, don’t delay. If you want to open up to a friend, do it; your true friends will rally around you. But maybe you need a confidential space…


Maybe you’d like to begin talking, get some of that stuff in your head out on the table, and find a way forward in a safe space. When you’re ready, you can contact me if you like, for a free 30-minute call by phone or Zoom. What’s stopping you if you’ve come this far, others before you thought it was their best move! It would be a pleasure to talk with you.

All the best, Nick